some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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