Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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