booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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