One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
