Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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