when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize