just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
