So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize