I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize