once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
