it wasn't lemon gatorade
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
