Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
