Pappa wants mamma naked
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
