There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
