sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
