So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
