Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
