oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
third nipple confirmed
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
A+ Viking dick
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
