just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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