My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
