I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
