Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
