I'm gonna have a badass scar
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
