Say something about gay babies.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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