I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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