I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
