what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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