Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
