I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
