i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im holly from the hills drunk
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
