are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
