Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
