she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
