wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
