oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
