yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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