Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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