She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she looked like the before picture.
false alarm. still invincible.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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