Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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