Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
