At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
