DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
