I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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