he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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