So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
