I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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