Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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