u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
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We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize