Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
