the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
