I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
