you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
