Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
And then he peed in my hair
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