Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
