since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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