I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
