But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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