so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
