what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We are all done wearing pants today
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
