I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
