I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
