I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
