Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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